Recently I was at a ballroom dance and saw an attractive older lady (65+) sitting on a chair right next to the dance floor. I asked if she wanted to dance and she asked, “are you a REALLY good dancer”. I told her no, and she then said, “thanks, anyway”.
She probably did me a favor by refusing the dance. I looked over several times and never saw her dancing. So, at least she didn’t have to show anybody how good she was.
1. Also, if you say no for some reason to someone when they ask you to dance (be it a man or woman), don’t dance with someone else for that dance. Wait until the next dance to dance again.
2. Many couples won’t dance with anyone else but their partner. That’s their privilege, but it can either be seen as really obnoxious (we’re so good we’re not going to bother with anyone else) or you’re very insecure. The whole point of social dancing is the social interaction – to meet someone, chat, and enjoy the music/dancing. This isn’t a competition!
The first time we went to an organized dance I declined an invitation to dance with a guy I didn’t know. Looking back, I wish I would have known the protocol. While it was fun to dance with my guy and the few people we knew, it would have been a more well-rounded dance experience if we would have branched out. Besides that- now I feel like I was rude! If I see that guy at another dance I plan to approach him, to make amends.
@rbazsz- that woman was VERY rude! How could she have a nice time with an attitude like that? For all she knew, you could have been the most charming man there! 🙂
You are right about accepting a dance from aguy at a social dance club. Ladies, do not feel shy and go in for it, thats the only opportunity we have to practice a complete song dance. Thanks.
Great comments Dana. I wish more people knew that there is a protocol for social dancing. Dance teachers need to encourage that protocol by also dancing with beginner dancers. It sends a huge message.
We always encourage couples to dance with other people – we swap partners in class for everyone so no-one feels left out – for one thing they BOTH become better dancers when they do this and thus better able to dance confidently with each other as well as with other dancers. Also, ladies that refuse a dance because they feel someone isn’t a good dancer get remembered… and can be thought of as dance snobs, which means they will find it hard to get dances afterwards. It’s all about encouragement, we all need it and it’s essential if you want to be a sought-after social dancer (in my opinion). No one likes to be rejected.
When I was learning to dance, I got more requests from men to dance than when I became a better dancer. The men were very comfortable asking me to dance when they felt they were better dancers and could teach or tell me thing about dancing. Many of these same men have never progressed and a year later, they seem intimidated to dance with me.
Recently I was at a ballroom dance and saw an attractive older lady (65+) sitting on a chair right next to the dance floor. I asked if she wanted to dance and she asked, “are you a REALLY good dancer”. I told her no, and she then said, “thanks, anyway”.
She probably did me a favor by refusing the dance. I looked over several times and never saw her dancing. So, at least she didn’t have to show anybody how good she was.
1. Also, if you say no for some reason to someone when they ask you to dance (be it a man or woman), don’t dance with someone else for that dance. Wait until the next dance to dance again.
2. Many couples won’t dance with anyone else but their partner. That’s their privilege, but it can either be seen as really obnoxious (we’re so good we’re not going to bother with anyone else) or you’re very insecure. The whole point of social dancing is the social interaction – to meet someone, chat, and enjoy the music/dancing. This isn’t a competition!
Great points Dana!
The first time we went to an organized dance I declined an invitation to dance with a guy I didn’t know. Looking back, I wish I would have known the protocol. While it was fun to dance with my guy and the few people we knew, it would have been a more well-rounded dance experience if we would have branched out. Besides that- now I feel like I was rude! If I see that guy at another dance I plan to approach him, to make amends.
@rbazsz- that woman was VERY rude! How could she have a nice time with an attitude like that? For all she knew, you could have been the most charming man there! 🙂
You are right about accepting a dance from aguy at a social dance club. Ladies, do not feel shy and go in for it, thats the only opportunity we have to practice a complete song dance. Thanks.
Great comments Dana. I wish more people knew that there is a protocol for social dancing. Dance teachers need to encourage that protocol by also dancing with beginner dancers. It sends a huge message.
We always encourage couples to dance with other people – we swap partners in class for everyone so no-one feels left out – for one thing they BOTH become better dancers when they do this and thus better able to dance confidently with each other as well as with other dancers. Also, ladies that refuse a dance because they feel someone isn’t a good dancer get remembered… and can be thought of as dance snobs, which means they will find it hard to get dances afterwards. It’s all about encouragement, we all need it and it’s essential if you want to be a sought-after social dancer (in my opinion). No one likes to be rejected.
Thanks Nicky! Very well put.
I am also really big on switching partners as I said in this video:https://www.passion4dancing.com/do-you-switch-partners/
I agree with you, it’s just a polite thing…we don’t want to crush anyone’s feelings!
Thank you so much Leon for that simply explained and uplifting advice. Most helpful!
When I was learning to dance, I got more requests from men to dance than when I became a better dancer. The men were very comfortable asking me to dance when they felt they were better dancers and could teach or tell me thing about dancing. Many of these same men have never progressed and a year later, they seem intimidated to dance with me.
Thank you so much for those great tips, I will definitely be using them